


Hishigi's Trouble

by Hotarukunn



Category: Samurai Deeper Kyo
Genre: Gen, Longing, Loyalty, M/M, Nicknames, Onesided Love, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-08
Updated: 2012-02-08
Packaged: 2017-10-30 19:52:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotarukunn/pseuds/Hotarukunn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hishigi has a problem, but he can't find anyone to talk to about it. Spoilers concerning Tokito, Hishigi, and Yuan's family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hishigi's Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Rated for Keikoku's choice of words.

Hishigi of the Taishirou had a problem. A bit of a big problem, too. It was such a troublesome problem that he was unable to speak to anyone about it. However much he felt that he really should, and really needed to. And as he needed to vent on someone, he went to search for someone.

The first one he met was Tokito, who apparently was on a stroll (Spade by her side). However, he only greeted the child of his fellow elder, politely, and continued on his way, because even though he didn't dislike Tokito – rather, he missed the days that he had spent with the childs family; they were getting fewer and fewer – he just didn't think this was an appropriate subject to speak with her about. He would just be teased by the child, anyway. And he did not enjoy being teased; Yuan loved doing that enough.

The second he met was Fubuki and Muramasa, who were sitting in the garden and discussing general Mibu affairs. At least he supposed that Fubuki were. Muramasa was more likely to be discussing the weather and the flowers. And the little demon boy. The little boy in question was currently sitting a bit away to the side, his shining red eyes intently locked on a leaf that appeared to be moving. Hishigi observed the boy for a moment, wondering why the leaf was that intriguing – it was just an ant that were carrying it off somewhere – until Muramasa called his name. He looked at the man, who smiled at him knowingly. Fubuki looked between them, seeming to wonder what it was that Muramasa understood about Hishigi.

Had he only met Muramasa at the moment – without the little child and Fubuki – Hishigi might have asked him for advise. But now, that was not the case, was it. Hishigi calmly excused himself, and felt three gazes at his back when he left the garden.

The third person that he met – or rather, fifth, to be exact – was Julian. The brash smith probably didn't even plan on letting Hishigi see him, but Hishigi already knew he was roaming around digging tunnels. Why else would he correct the miss-spelled sign that Julian had put up? But this person was one of the least he wanted to bring up the matter with, and he doubted that the blacksmith would want to speak to him as well. He was proved quite right when he heard a small curse, so he just spared the man a last glance, before continuing on his way.

He had not wanted to meet the people from Yuan's Imperial Guards, but he just had to meet the just as brash as her father Anna, didn't he? The moment she spotted him, she demanded to know what he was doing there. He hadn't even realized that he had wandered into Yuan's domains, and told her so. He had merely been out for a walk to get some time to think. She crossed her arms, and stared at him. Apparently, she didn't quite believe him, but he supposed that the siblings of Yuan were just that way towards the other elders. He had been there a few times while Ian had been an elder, but since her death, he had not visited even once, sans the times he had been asked by Fubuki to get Yuan for their meetings, the times the blind man had overslept. He knew how Yuan respected this woman; that she could be quite violent. And Hishigi respected her attitude towards her siblings, but he did not feel like getting into a fight with all of Yuan's family (because getting into a fight with one would catch the attention of others, and all of them would set after him) and he promptly retreated, taking another way to the Mibu city.

Then he saw Shinrei, dutifully practicing on his swords dance. Really, the boy was so diligent. He had a feeling that the boy would be very much like Fubuki the older he got; he was already good on the way. But after all, the boy was just reminding him too much of Fubuki, and besides, he didn't know the boy, had never even spoken to him before. He had met him, yes, but the only thing they had done was exchanged greetings, and then he had left Fubuki and his student on their own. So he discarded that option as well, passing by the spot and towards the next.

The next person that he met was another one from Yuan's big family. Although not any of his blood relatives. It was Yuan's student Keikoku, the boy that apparently, Yuan had picked up from some part of the Mibu land. The boy was staring at the ground just as intensely as the demon-boy, but at a larvae, instead of a leaf. He looked at the boy for a moment, and apparently, the blonde with the short twin-braids felt his gaze, because he turned around, suspicion visible in the glare. Hishigi raised an eyebrow, and then sat down beside the boy. Still, that suspicious, angry gaze was locked at him.

While he calmly spoke with Keikoku – without earning a single answer – he felt another presence. He rose to his feet, and quietly, collected, greeted Yuan. Yuan seemed to be bewildered of Hishigi's presence there – he always holed up in his lab as of late, after all – and he could see Keikoku's gaze move between Yuan and himself. The boy opened his mouth. "YunYun," he said, and Yuan raised an eyebrow. "YunYun, he wants to fuck you."

Hishigi tensed. What did the boy just— Yuan seemed to be just as surprised, and turned his head to Hishigi. "Hey hey, what're you teaching my student, Hishigi?" he asked.

"I never said that," Hishigi protested. "He must have heard it from your father or Shihodo."

Yuan sighed. "Really, Keikoku, did you hear it from those two old perverts?" he asked the boy, who nodded. Hishigi almost relaxed, but then Keikoku pointed at him. "He still want to fuck you."

"I do not." Hishigi protested, this time with slight more vigor. Keikoku continued to look him in the eye, then hummed and turned back to the larvae on the ground, seemingly completely uninterested.

Yuan, who deemed that Keikoku's mind and hearing would be elsewhere, turned to Hishigi. "Keikoku's got a screw loose – well, a lot of'em – but he ain't that much of a liar. Anna and Angelica's made sure of that enough. What's it you _really_ told the brat?"

"I.. told him nothing in particular." Hishigi said. Well, this was more troublesome than he had thought it'd become. He met Yuan's doubtful gaze.

"Really now." Yuan said. Hishigi nodded once in affirmation. There was no way that he told how Keikoku had gotten that … idea. Hishigi wasn't used to this, so he didn't know what to say. But he knew he couldn't tell the younger taishirou the truth. Not after what he did to Ian.

Hishigi never felt guilt, not really, not at all, actually. But he also felt that he had no rights, feeling like this to Ian's _son_ of all. He had _killed_ the woman, he couldn't go around harboring feelings for Yuan then.

Although he did.

He had already settled for the fact that he wasn't actually allowed to, though. Not that Yuan even would see him the same way, but he would hate him if he knew. And one day, he was sure that he _would_ find out. He didn't know how, or when, but he just had that feeling that somehow, Yuan would one day find out who it really was that killed Ian. And then he would hate Hishigi, no matter what he felt about him or thought of him before finding out about it. And besides, Yuan was only a _child_ , compared to him. He had been adult already when Yuan was born. It wasn't any idea in it, anyway, because he was Fubuki's, and would always be Fubuki's.

Although he really, really badly wanted to give Yuan just one, single kiss.

And he'd be able to put it all behind him, because Yuan would definitely push him away and show a face of disgust. He just wasn't the type of man to like other men, or older men, or... or Hishigi.

"Yuan," he finally spoke, and Yuan cocked his head to the other side this time. "If you excuse me, I have work to do," He turned, and could feel Yuan's aura radiate confusion. Why had he even spoken to that stupid Keikoku-boy? What had he expected, for him to be quiet about it? ...for him to tell Yuan his true feelings? He didn't know, and he was afraid that he had hoped for it even though that was what he actually wanted the least.

Because as long as Yuan nothing knew, he could dream of not being rejected, of being rejected, of being accepted. Could hope that it could stay this way forever, even though he wanted things to change.

The thing he had least of all expected the next day was Yuan's palm around his wrist, Yuan's lips pressed against his, and Yuan's hand on his back. But still, he found them there.

Now he didn't know what he would do if he ever got the order to eradicate Yuan, because he would follow Fubuki, his only real friend, and he would do what he said. But at the same time, he didn't want to hurt Yuan anymore than he had done.

_You stupid fool, why are you doing this to me? Why are you putting a threat upon yourself?_

_Why do you make me love you even more, Yuan you fool._

End


End file.
